


World Spins Madly On

by GayRat



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety, Depression, Drinking, Healthy Communication, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Mutual Pining, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pining, Therapy, Tsukishima Kei goes to Therapy, Tsukishima Kei has Depression, Tsukishima Kei is Bad at Feelings, Tsukishima Kei-centric, Yamaguchi Tadashi is Bad at Feelings
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-19
Updated: 2020-09-19
Packaged: 2021-03-07 23:35:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,703
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26535928
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GayRat/pseuds/GayRat
Summary: Tsukishima and Yamaguchi have been friends since they were kids. It's time for them to go to college, and things are changing. Following Tsukishima's emotional constipation and struggle with mental illness and Yamaguchi's inability to communicate properly.~~~"Just like that, Tadashi was out of bed, throwing on a pair of discarded pants and a t-shirt. A part of him felt relieved to be getting the message, because it meant he wouldn’t have to wallow in his midnight sorrows anymore. Another part of him couldn’t help but feel worried, though, because tonight seemed to be one of those rare instances where Tsukki needed him."(EDIT: THIS FIC IS ON PAUSE FOR NOW -- UPDATES? IDK WHEN TBH)
Relationships: Tsukishima Kei/Yamaguchi Tadashi
Kudos: 11





	World Spins Madly On

**Author's Note:**

> Hi and welcome to the projection song fic. First time writing for the Haikyuu fandom, which means it's also my first time writing these characters. This story (as of right now) is not beta read and I'm fully aware that the characters might be a little OOC, so I ask for now you bear with me. On that note, really hope you all like the story! Happy Reading!
> 
> (Chapter Title from the song "The Ladder" By Andrew Belle)

The summer hadn’t lasted nearly as long as he had hoped, and as he lay awake in bed, he wished time would slow down, just for a few moments. The clock on his nightstand made a peculiar clicking sound every time a minute passed, something he had never noticed before. The clicking annoyed him to no end, the sound reminding him of just how little time he had left before all of  _ this _ would be over. Before long he wouldn’t even have that clock -- it would be unplugged and packed up just like the rest of the things lingering in his childhood bedroom. All of it would be shoved into a storage closet, save maybe his bed for when he came home on the holidays. 

He spared a glance at the source of his frustrations, barely containing a groan. 

2:37AM. Exactly three hours and twenty-three minutes before he and his mom would load themselves into the car and drive three hours to drop Tadashi off at his new home. Three hours and twenty-three minutes until he could officially call himself a college student. 

He wanted to be excited, and in the grand scheme of it all he really was. This is what he’d been looking forward to all summer, after all. Something him and Tsukishima had fantasized about near endlessly those days they spent lazing around in the sun. What’s more was the amount of freedom he knew he’d have, something his best friend had pointed out. No more confines, more opportunity to discover himself and branch out. Of course he was still going to play volleyball, that he promised. Tsukki had promised, too. Really, he was excited for a lot when it came to going off to college. 

Then there was the whole other side of him, the side terrified of leaving what was most comfortable. Leaving what was safe for him. 

Leaving Tsukishima Kei. 

They didn’t talk about it. Why would they? It wasn’t like anything would happen. They’d gone long stretches of time without seeing each other, how would college be any different, right? And anyway, it wasn’t a big deal. That’s how life works. Things change, and you have to change with them. Sure Tsukki had always been his best friend. Someone he could confide in. Someone who knew Yamaguchi better than himself, probably. That didn’t mean that the two of them weren’t subjected to change, or experiencing change, and that was okay. It was okay, and that’s why they didn’t need to talk about it. 

His cell phone let off a little ping from where it lay face-down next to his pillow. He sighed deeply, rolling over to his side and squinting preemptively before turning the screen towards him. 

**_Tsukki:_ ** _ Slow night. _

Just like that, Tadashi was out of bed, throwing on a pair of discarded pants and a t-shirt. A part of him felt relieved to be getting the message, because it meant he wouldn’t have to wallow in his midnight sorrows anymore. Another part of him couldn’t help but feel worried, though, because tonight seemed to be one of those rare instances where Tsukki needed  _ him _ . 

~~~

Tadashi wasn’t very good at articulating his emotions. Navigating all of those complex feelings overwhelmed him and typically made trying to figure things out worse. He was, however, good at knowing when he couldn’t be alone. Countless nights, he’d sit in his room in a panic, wondering  _ why _ he had to feel so sad, and  _ why _ he couldn’t just force the negativity away. Some nights it would get bad, and loneliness would press into him from every angle, and his eyes would burn with tears that refused to fall. On those nights, he asked for Tsukishima to be there. 

The requests varied. He’d say things like ‘ _ can we hang out? I don’t want to be alone right now _ ,’ sometimes he’d simply say ‘ _ are you free? I’m coming over! _ ’. On the worst nights, ones that had the freckled boy shaking, he’d call the other and gently say “I need you right now”. 

Tsukishima, on the other hand, was not only terrible at articulating the things he felt, but also  _ horrendous _ at reaching out to begin with.  _ Slow night _ had become the blonde’s version of Tadashi’s  _ I need you _ , even if he would never directly admit to it. 

He didn’t quite understand what ‘slow night’ meant for Tsukki. All he knew was that it was a call for  _ something _ , and Tadashi was more than willing to be that something if it was what his best friend needed. 

The walk to the other’s house wasn’t far, and Yamaguchi was relieved to see the back porch light still on. Quietly, he let himself in through the gate, and smiled when he saw his friends sitting on the porch steps, scrolling through something on his phone. 

“Hey, you.” 

“Hey.” 

He closed the gate behind him and went to sit down next to the other boy.

“What’s going on?” 

“You’re going to school tomorrow,” the other supplied simply. His expression didn’t change, and he was still scrolling through his phone, but it was a lot more than Tadashi was expecting him to say.

“Technically, I leave in a few hours,” he said with a joking tone. 

For a brief moment, the blonde’s face contorted into a sort of scowl. He hunched his shoulders and brought his phone closer to his face, mumbling, “yeah.” 

Tadashi frowned. “What’s the matter?” 

Silence passed between the two of them, and Yamaguchi was nothing if not patient. Tsukishima was stubborn on the best of days, but right now he was tired, more vulnerable, and it wouldn’t be long before he let out some kind of indication of what he was feeling. Besides, he only had about three hours left to say whatever he wanted to say. 

Taking a deep inhale, he allowed himself to relax just enough to fix Tadashi with a stare. 

“You’re my friend.” 

“I… Yeah. Yeah, I know we’re friends, Tsukki,” Tadashi responded, quirking his brow at the other. This was… Not what he was expecting. 

“You’re gonna be gone off to college in a few hours,” his gaze shifted to his lap. “You’re not… Lots of things are going to change.” 

Oh, so they were having  _ this _ talk. 

Tadashi placed a hand on Kei’s shoulder, prompting his friend to look him in the eye once more. 

“Hey,” he offered gently, “the fact that we’re friends isn’t going to change. You know that, right?” 

“Well, yeah,” he deadpans, “of course I know that, but I’m not talking about that.” 

Tadashi tilted his head to the side, “what are you talking about, then?” 

Tsukishima looked at him like he had three heads before looking back at his phone, his expression bored now, “have you slept at all tonight?” 

“Uh… I mean, kinda? For an hour or two.” 

“Maybe you should go home and do that.” And with that Tsukki stood to walk back into his house. Tadashi fumbled. 

“Hey! Hey you- You can’t just walk away from me, we were talking,” he huffs, also standing. “I’ll have time to sleep during the car ride, I’ll be fine.” 

“Weren’t you and your mom going to take turns driving? You realize you have to be awake to drive, right?” the other snarked. 

Tadashi huffed. “Fine, I’ll go.” 

Tsukki seemed satisfied, smiling to himself and once again turning to walk back into his house. A hand grabbed his wrist, and he stopped, turning to face his friend when he suddenly felt arms wrap around his waist tightly. He was taken aback for just a moment, then huffed and loosely looped his arms around the shorter boy. They stayed like that for a few moments, reveling in the silence that followed. There was no real reason for Tadashi to be holding on as tightly as he was, but the other didn’t seem to mind, so he didn’t stop. A minute or two passed before they pulled away from each other. 

“You’re my best friend. Nothing is going to change,” he held eye contact with the blonde, who gave a curt nod. 

“Okay.” 

Something felt wrong, at that moment. Later he’d chalk it up to the anxiety of knowing he wouldn’t see the other for three months at least, but right now it weighed on the freckled boy heavily. His eyes searched Kei’s face, for what, he had no idea. Maybe he just liked looking at the other’s face. Maybe he was trying to ignore just how close the two were. Maybe, he just really wanted… something to happen. With their gaze locked, Tadashi felt his mouth start to work on it’s own.

“Can… Can I-” 

Tsukishima hummed in question, snapping Yamaguchi back to reality. His face flushed and he stepped away from the other.

“Nothing! Nothing, it’s- It’s nothing, really,” he chuckled nervously. “I’ll text you once I’m done unpacking my stuff, yeah? Talk to you soon Tsukki!” 

With that, Yamaguchi left, and Tsukishima stood on the porch for only a moment more before finally going back inside. The porch light was shut off. 

~~~

“Well, I think that’s it,” he said to no one in particular, doing a once-over on his new room. His mom came up behind him, resting a hand on his shoulder. 

“You call me if you need anything, okay?” she spoke softly.

He smiled, “absolutely.”

He hugged his mother and she kissed him on the forehead before leaving. As the door closed behind her, he took a deep breath, blinking rapidly to stop himself from crying. He turned towards the kitchenette and ran a hand along one of the counters. 

He stood like this for a while, and hardly noticed when the front door opened. 

“Oh! You must be Yamaguchi Tadashi, right?” exclaimed a voice. 

He turned, eyes wide in surprise. Standing at the door was a tall, dark haired woman with green eyes who wore a red bucket hat and was carrying two grocery bags. 

“Yeah! Yeah, that’s me. Um… You’re my roommate, right?”

“I’m pretty sure I am,” she said, smiling. She brushed past him and set the grocery bags down before turning to him and holding out her hand. “Fujino Kosuke -- nice to meet you!”

**Author's Note:**

> A comment a day keeps the writer at bay, and I'm always looks for feedback. Lemme know what you think, if you wanna!
> 
> come talk to me on instagram or twitter!  
> IG: oh_hi_august  
> Twitter: cottagecorebf
> 
> ~August


End file.
